Such a great, helpful guide 🫶 A few of my close friends have lost parents, and I've put their parents' birthdays and days they passed in my calendar as a reminder to reach out every year on those days, even if it's a "thinking of you" text. It's a small act but goes a long way on those important days
Thank you so much for reading, Courtney 🤍 That's such a kind gesture and I'm sure your friends really appreciate it. That's one thing I've experienced and heard from others about grief: how painful it is to feel like everyone has moved on when you're still hurting. You remembering those important days most definitely makes them feel seen and supported.
Yes exactly! The moving on part is such a huge part of the grieving process, and it can be hard to feel like there's nothing you can do to make it better. I'm glad you're amplifying ways to be a good friend, even when it feels hard or awkward
Hey Lauren, how strange it is to read this piece this morning, as we will attend my aunt's burial today.
For the first time, probably due to that particular situation, I found myself disagreeing (and surprised to be so) about a few things you said. Let me just say, before anything else, that I totally agree with the heart of your piece which is : "Try to be here with your friends even if you don't know what to say."
Maybe (small maybe) my disagreements are of cultural origin, and I would like to point out that debating about such topics feels okay for me - but let me know if you're uncomfortable though !
What I would say is this : taking into account our kids' sadness when they get hurt is now something that recent prents have come to embrace (it's true that it wasn't the case before!) - at least in the people around me.
Also, about the "I'm a big bummer" sticker, I have the feeling that most of the time, people fake it and hide their grief so deep, it's very difficult to actually see the sticker. But maybe I'm the one choosing to be blind.
Aw, Amandine, I’m sorry to hear about your aunt. 🤍 I also appreciate your perspective here. I agree that the tide is turning and parents aren’t just brushing their kids (and their emotions) off like they used to. I was mostly referring to my parents’ generation, but I can understand how it came across as a generalization! I also agree that many people do hide their pain and most are pretty adept at doing so. That was me putting a “we” label on something that is really just a personal experience - that is, my experience of confiding in others and then feeling like a burden for having done so. I very much doubt you’re choosing to be blind, given how emotionally in tune you are to yourself and others. This comment exchange is a perfect example of that! Thank you for reading and discussing, I always appreciate your thoughts and perspective 🫶
Thanks for your kind reply ! I definitely am in the "I feel like a burden when I tell my problems to my friends" category (but am slowly, slowly trying to do so more, with grace...)
Such a great, helpful guide 🫶 A few of my close friends have lost parents, and I've put their parents' birthdays and days they passed in my calendar as a reminder to reach out every year on those days, even if it's a "thinking of you" text. It's a small act but goes a long way on those important days
Thank you so much for reading, Courtney 🤍 That's such a kind gesture and I'm sure your friends really appreciate it. That's one thing I've experienced and heard from others about grief: how painful it is to feel like everyone has moved on when you're still hurting. You remembering those important days most definitely makes them feel seen and supported.
Yes exactly! The moving on part is such a huge part of the grieving process, and it can be hard to feel like there's nothing you can do to make it better. I'm glad you're amplifying ways to be a good friend, even when it feels hard or awkward
That's an amazing thing to do !!
Hey Lauren, how strange it is to read this piece this morning, as we will attend my aunt's burial today.
For the first time, probably due to that particular situation, I found myself disagreeing (and surprised to be so) about a few things you said. Let me just say, before anything else, that I totally agree with the heart of your piece which is : "Try to be here with your friends even if you don't know what to say."
Maybe (small maybe) my disagreements are of cultural origin, and I would like to point out that debating about such topics feels okay for me - but let me know if you're uncomfortable though !
What I would say is this : taking into account our kids' sadness when they get hurt is now something that recent prents have come to embrace (it's true that it wasn't the case before!) - at least in the people around me.
Also, about the "I'm a big bummer" sticker, I have the feeling that most of the time, people fake it and hide their grief so deep, it's very difficult to actually see the sticker. But maybe I'm the one choosing to be blind.
Definitely, this piece was food for thoughts !
Aw, Amandine, I’m sorry to hear about your aunt. 🤍 I also appreciate your perspective here. I agree that the tide is turning and parents aren’t just brushing their kids (and their emotions) off like they used to. I was mostly referring to my parents’ generation, but I can understand how it came across as a generalization! I also agree that many people do hide their pain and most are pretty adept at doing so. That was me putting a “we” label on something that is really just a personal experience - that is, my experience of confiding in others and then feeling like a burden for having done so. I very much doubt you’re choosing to be blind, given how emotionally in tune you are to yourself and others. This comment exchange is a perfect example of that! Thank you for reading and discussing, I always appreciate your thoughts and perspective 🫶
Thanks for your kind reply ! I definitely am in the "I feel like a burden when I tell my problems to my friends" category (but am slowly, slowly trying to do so more, with grace...)