Beating the winter blues

The case for hosting an elaborate seasonal dinner party

As much as I appreciate the time to slow down after the hectic holiday season, it always makes me sad to take down the decorations. My house feels so sparse without the tree and trinkets, and the neighborhood much darker without the lights. Sure, the days are getting slightly longer, but it’s still the middle of winter. Christmas almost happens too early in the season, coming and going so quickly, leaving us with so many cold weeks ahead. In the past, I’ve let it get to me, despite the gifts winter brings like snow and skiing. This year, however, I was prepared.

The second the summer started to shift into fall, I wrote about how I was planning to combat the inevitable symptoms of my seasonal affective disorder. I am pleased to report that I have not only been abiding by this S.A.D. Girl Survival Guide, but that it’s actually been helping. The first step of the guide is to lean into seasonality, which is why Christmas tends to be so effective for me. Between the decorations and the music and the food, there’s a lot to look forward to. It’s a busy season because there are so many ways to celebrate it and simply not enough time to do so. Once it’s over, January can feel like a slog (or a dystopian nightmare, depending on what current events are transpiring), which is why this past weekend was the perfect time for one of my favorite things: a seasonal dinner party.

It was my friend’s idea, actually. She was in town this weekend, and as she was booking her flights before the trip several weeks ago, she mentioned wanting to cohost a party together. Immediately, I felt the spark of creativity within me. I had the perfect idea for a theme, one that reflected the seasonal slump, and a fun way to add more color to the gray days of the season. “Let’s throw a Winter Blues party,” I said. She agreed, and I quickly got to work planning it all out.

I started with a mood board. I had visions of ribbons and royal blue, antique china and crystal glassware. I already had most of the items, and what I didn’t have I could borrow from my mom. I even mocked it up on Canva to see how it would all look together on the table.

Seeing everything laid out visually brought me immense joy. It was exactly what I had in mind. In fact, it’s moments like this that make me stop and notice that flicker of inspiration, that feeling of fulfillment within. It’s just so much fun. And it’s exactly why hosting an elaborate seasonal dinner party is step one of the S.A.D. Girl Survival Guide: it makes me so happy.

Once I knew the theme would work, I started designing the invitation. The guest list would be small, rendering an invitation hardly necessary, but making them is one of my favorite parts of hosting. It’s like an extension of the mood board, it sets the tone for the event.

My friend and I started talking about the menu. We decided something warm and comforting like pasta would be perfect. When the day of the party arrived, we took our time prepping the dishes, spending the afternoon filling the kitchen with the sound of our chatter and the smell of homemade sauce on the stove. For me, cooking can be a chore. I tend to overthink it or overcomplicate it, thinking I need to have all these special ingredients or meet all these specific nutrition criteria, which in turn takes all the fun and creativity out of it. But with hosting, I find a shift in my mindset. I want my guests to enjoy the meal, so I pay extra attention to each step – something I struggle to do otherwise. Plus, taking the time to do something like making a sauce from scratch gave my friend and I an added chance to disconnect from our phones and connect with each other.

After prepping the food, we set the table and I got to see my vision come to life. To my delight, my friend had brought the sun with her from San Francisco. It shone in through the dining room window, illuminating the table scape, and for a moment, I forgot it what month it was. With all the light and the color, it almost felt like spring.

By the time our guests arrived, my cohost and I were dressed in blue sweaters (uncoordinated!) and ready to greet them. The rest of the evening was full of good food and even better conversation as we sat around the candlelit dinner table. Everything was lovely. There was just one more thing I wanted to do. Planning the party had been a way for me to look forward to something in the new year, a way to brighten up the dark winter. In a way, it sort of aligned with what people tend to do at the start of the year, that is set new goals and resolutions. But for me, at least at this particular point in the season, starting something new or adding one more lofty aspiration to my plate hasn’t resonated with me. So, I had the idea for everyone to share something they’re letting go of this year. I shared mine – which is to let go of negative self-talk – and was surprised when a couple others shared similar sentiments.

If the dining room window were the frame of a picture, it would have been the exact image of what I value most in life. It would show all the things my thirties are solidifying for me:

The importance of close friendships, even if they are fewer in number.

The joy of seemingly simple pleasures like a home-cooked meal or a well-laid table.

The necessity of vulnerable conversations.

I have no idea what this year might hold, what peaks and valleys it might have in store, but it’s comforting to know that I can create pockets of meaning and fulfillment for myself, that I can still thrive, even in the dead of winter.

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Author’s Note: Fun fact, the runner-up theme was “Ain’t Depresso When We’ve Got Espresso,” which would have featured espresso martinis. I just couldn’t get the invitation design to cooperate. 😂