A midsummer night's dream of my own making
On weird weather and doing things simply for the joy of it
I don’t know how to explain it, but this summer somehow hasn’t felt much like summer. Maybe it’s the frustrating ratio of cloudy days to sunny ones, or the fact that it’s just been an off year in general for me. Either way, I found myself in mid-July wondering where the summer was despite having engaged in plenty of summer-related activity. My husband and I had already been on a few weekend trips with friends or family, watched several sunsets, and eaten lots of ice cream. On paper and on the calendar, it was summer. In my mind, however, it just didn’t really feel like it.
I realized after texting with one of my best friends that it had been a while since I’d seen her. It’d been a while since I’d seen many of my friends, actually. The season seemed to be taking all of us in separate directions – a far cry from the summers I remembered from my childhood, which granted me the freedom to see my friends as often as I wished. As a result, I was feeling disconnected in the loneliness that can accompany adulthood – but the conversation with my friend gave me an idea.
My inspiration was the fall dinner party I threw last year to offset the sadness I felt about the changing seasons. The transition from summer to fall aways hits me the hardest, and having something to look forward to during the transition made a huge difference. It helped me lean into the season – to celebrate it – instead of mourning the previous one. In a way, it helped me stay present. So, this weekend, I did it again: I threw an elaborate, themed party just for the hell of it, this time with my friend (an amazing hostess in her own right) as a co-host.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also inspired by Pinterest and TikTok, where I’ve seen several cute and expertly-executed party themes. I loved the garden gatherings I’d scrolled by and knew we should throw one to the theme of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I immediately started building a Pinterest mood board and making an invitation, which quickly began to bolster my excitement. As silly as it may sound, I felt myself coming alive again.
The beautiful thing about cohosting with this friend is that we effortlessly played to our strengths. She is an amazing cook, which meant she focused on the menu and drinks while I got to focus on my favorite thing: decor. My husband and I have been in our house for three years now and still hadn’t hosted anything in our backyard, so I was excited to mock up my vision on my iPad and bring it to life.
For weeks, I mulled over the perfect table settings, the right assortment of taper candles. I planned to borrow certain items from family and friends, like glass candlestick holders from my new sister-in-law’s recent wedding and wooden folding chairs from a friend.
The vision came together stunningly. The issue with the execution, however, was the weather.
Like I said, this summer has been a weird one. So weird in fact that an actual thunderstorm was forecasted for the day of the party. I know a Midwesterner wouldn’t bat an eye at this, but we in the Pacific Northwest know thunderstorms to be a rarity. Instead of having the whole party outside, we’d have to shift part of it indoors to account for the impending storm. The perfectionist in me was displeased. After all, I’d hyper fixated for a good few weeks, planning everything around this one specific vision. But I obviously couldn’t have us out in the rain to get struck by lightning, so inside we’d go.
By the grace of the powers at be, the storm held off for the first half of the night, allowing us to have our cocktails and appetizers and make our flower crowns (yes, we made flower crowns) in the waning sunlight. I had been anxious about when to transition inside and how to go about it – I didn’t want to force my guests to help move the tables or clean up the dishes, but I also didn’t want to abandon them while my cohost and I did it. However, when the clouds rolled in and the first few raindrops began to fall, no one hesitated to help. It was seamless, a no brainer, and it went by much faster with so many hands. It occurred to me that although I couldn’t plan on the weather, I could obviously count on the kindness of my friends. I’d somehow forgotten that detail in the anxiety of it all.
We made our way inside and sat at the table in my dining room, watching as lightning illuminated the looming trees in the backyard. We listened as the wind whipped the rain in violent sheets across the roof and pelted it against the windows. When the overhead lights began to flicker, we turned them off ate our dinner by candlelight, still wearing our flower crowns. Someone commented on the fall feel of the weather, joking that we looked like we were about to conduct a séance. That comment led us to pull oracle cards and read aloud the message of each.
To some (namely my husband, when I told him about it), it may have looked like the beginning of a horror movie. To me, it felt more like the scene from Anne with an E, the one where Anne and her friends celebrate Beltane (or Gaelic May Day) from which the viral “how I love being a woman” TikTok sound originated. We were seated around the table, our faces aglow in the flickering flames, our hair and dresses adorned with flowers, enjoying each other’s company and in many ways, celebrating being women.
Leading up to the party, I’d found myself in a shame spiral wondering why I was getting so worked up over something so – to use the word of my inner judgmental voice – “trivial”. Should I be spending money on random candles and tablecloths? Did I need these things, were they necessary?
Maybe not, but also, yes, I did and yes, they were.
Because there is something about doing something simply for the joy of it. There is something about loving your space so much you want to share it with others, something about loving others so much you want to treat them, spoil them, celebrate them. There is something about honoring your needs and creating the connection you crave, using your talents and gifts.
Planning this get-together not only gave me something to look forward to, it also allowed me to tap into my creativity and reconnect with my community – two vital things I’d been missing. In doing so, it alleviated the apathy I’d been feeling and made me more mindful of the moment, the season. Even with the weather – and perhaps because of the weather – it truly was a midsummer night’s dream. ✨
Author’s Note: What do you do simply for the joy of it?
This is exactly my kind of night. Midsummer Night's Dream + Anne of Green Gables?? Speaking to my literary heart. We do a "full moon dinner" once a month at our friends' house and pull tarot cards and it is easily one of my favorite new traditions. Also your backyard looks amazing, the trees!!!
This looks like so much fun! You executed your vision beautifully 💕 And I love how you illustrated the meaning of friendship and womanhood as the essence of it. I think that’s why I decided to host my girlfriends for my birthday brunch rather than go out...being at home felt so much more intimate and allowed for the connection I was craving myself.
Also, I totally got caught in that thunderstorm when driving back from Canada that night, it was insane! Had me spooked for a bit there because it was no fun to drive in.